It’s been a while….

Hello blogosphere!

I have been AWOL for a while now. So long that I don’t even know what I last wrote about…… *goes to read*

Oh my! That was a year ago! Where has the time gone????

In the last year I have:

  • Moved repeatedly
  • Spent a lot of time at the beach
  • Traveled by myself. Mostly to Montreal and Ottawa
  • Bought an Xbox One
  • Played copious amounts of video games
  • Read books
  • Played with my dog
  • Started going to the gym *
  • Started personal trainer at the gym
  • I’m sure there are other fun exciting things….

All in all, it has been a busy, sometimes fun, awesome year.

On the agenda in the near future: Reviewing of games, including: The Division, Battle Born Open Beta, Fallout 4, and other games I may have forgotten playing. Also: More updates about my awesome life, my goals for the near future , and I might post pictures of my pets. Maybe.

xxxooo

Robyn

* Get it back program with Global Fitness and Racquet club

 

 

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This is Tuesday. Well. Kinda.Wednesday Rewind moves to Thursday.

So, it’s been a rough couple of days chez moi.  Like a huge, bloody battle is going on inside my skull. It makes for some interesting daytime activities.

(I spent about an hour yesterday looking at the patterns in my couch and trying to decide what, if any, type of fish it looks like. Okay. It may have been more then an hour)

image

(Though orange and plaidish patterned- this couch/hideabed is sooo comfy. Also its where I have been sleeping since my surgery in December. )

But that’s what sometimes happens when your brain has a chemical imbalance.  No matter how on track I am with meds, etc – I have times where I can’t deal. It makes life interesting to say the least.

Lately I have been dealing with symptoms of mania.

Mainly these:
extremely irritable
Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
(Others that you dont need to know)

These are the main issues that are plaguing me right now.

I cant even play a game properly. I get bored/distracted after about 10-15 minutes and jump up to do something else.

I’ve read 5 books in the last 4 days. I’ve baked at 10pm. I’ve cleaned and vacuumed the livingroom, then within minutes it was messy again because I had brought out colouring books/crafts.

My leg doesn’t stop shaking. I barely sleep – and because it has been a few days…. I’m starting to get really irritable. 

There is an upside though. I’m not depressed. Lol.

Anyways- I better go because I’m starving to death, I want to watch Dr.Who and crochet something.

Btw. Did you know llamas do it laying down? True story.

Monday: Game Review.. kinda

Hey everyone!

I had an entire post all written up on my phone. It was all about Battlefield four.

It was a good write up.

Unfortunately- I am a little bit manic right now. This means that in the middle of the last paragraph. .. I put the phone down to do something else.

I closed the program, and for some reason it didn’t save any partial drafts. No idea why.

So. Let me say this as a recap (I’ll fix it tomorrow):

Game is good. Harder then BLOPS2 control wise. Conquest is my favourite multiplayer mode.

There were a lot of issues with launch. Crashing. Freezing.  Corruption of save files. So many bugs that didnt have to be there.

Even with the latest update I am still finding that my saves are getting corrupted after certain maps on multiplayer. So yes, I am done with single player, for now.  There are only so many times I am willing to restart my progress due to a glitch.

Though… why does no one talk?!? I have only managed to find one squad where everyone talked. One. Wtf people. Communication makes the game more fun!

Does anyone have a raptor account? Because I am the only one on my list, so I’m a total bad ass. Elite at everything.

Also? Add me to Xbox. Tell me where you are from (my blog) and we can kill things together!  My gamer tag is: Remittingdust09 look me up!

(Edited for spelling)

It’s Saturday Bitches!

Sup everyone!

It is Saturday! The day when all you normal folk have a weekend. (Every day is like a weekend for me, so I’ve got no complaints here).

There were two things that I was going to talk about/post about. Unfortunately I literally just forgot about one of them.

So anyways… here is a poem I wrote. Probably quite a while ago now. I found it while I was searching for old resumes. There isn’t much to it… but every once in a while… it just… feels right.

ONCE

Once
the trees were always green
the flowers always bloomed
the children always played

Once
the sun always shone
the table always had food
the magick always stayed

Once
the fridge always had food
the world was always right
the laughter always flowed

But that all ends
nothing stays the same
the joy leaches away
Once

you grow up

(Yes – I know it is kinda depressing. I was depressed when I wrote it okay? Sheesh)

Xxoo

Robyn

Tuesday: Life Review

Hey everyone!  I’m back!

Its been a freaking crazy month and a bit, non?

Short recap: Trip, Home, Surgery, Life, Surgery Complications,  Life, Today 🙂

I am going to try and get back on top of the blogging thing. I seem to be out of whatever funk I was in. I hope.

I think I will tell more about my trip on Thursdays.  Kinda break it up a bit.

But yeah, anyways…

I think I mentioned I had surgery the beginning of December.  I had hardware taken out of my leg from a previous surgery (after I broke it in April). While only a day surgery – it was still interesting. 

My leg? Almost immediately felt so much better then when the plate was in… yet it still hurt like a mofo from the surgery. ..if that makes any sense.

Things went good though.  I was allowed to put weight on it right away. Which of course ment I probably over did it – and then over babied it. It is what I do.

Things were going great. Stitches came out,  I was allowed to shower… everything was fantastic!

Unfortunately there was an infection under where one of the stitches was (were? Had been? That sounds better)

I was running my finger down one of the steristrips because it was starting to pull off. Well, my finger went right into the incision.  I touched bone.

After about 20min of gagging and crying, I drove myself to the hospital. Where they cleaned me up, gave me massive antibiotics,  and told me to book with my surgeon.  Which I did.

So. That happened boxingday.  It is now the middle of January,  and I think I am almost done with the bandage changes and visits to the community nurse.  I hope.

Either way – it meant another few weeks of sponge baths and washing my hair in the kitchen sink. Not the greatest thing ever. But I did shave my legs Sunday.  That was a celebration, right there.

Ive also had my brother stay with me to help me out with all the after surgery ‘fetch-n-carry’ so that’s been nice.

I have been able to play a few games too. Totally have lots of fodder for reviewing! Yay new content!

I hope that you guys got along okay without me. I know how important I am to everyone, so I’m glad you’re all okay. 😉

Xxoo
Robyn

“Every Story” – also Depression Lies

Hey everyone!
Life is still a shitshow – and I am doing my best to get back on track!

In the mean time… here is a post… that I found so… it’s good okay?

Every Story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That is the conundrum of stories, they must end to be fulfilling but the best ones we never want to see end. A bad story makes you wonder why you spent your time on it. A good story makes you happy you read it, but also willing to set the book down and let the story drift into memory. A Great story though, the truly best of all writing, is that which makes you think, makes you wonder, and where the story lingers in your mind because there are still questions, not easy ones, but the hard ones. You go back and you read it again and again, always looking for that next layer, certain that this is the read where you understand it all, where you are in the authors head, and where you know exactly what they wanted you to know. But you never find it, every read through reveals a new layer and new questions. That is the beauty of a great story. But its not for the good or the great ones that I am here tonight.

No tonight I’m here to write about the bad stories, the ones that make you wonder “what was the point of all that.” Recently someone asked what was stopping me from taking the final step over the edge. I told them my sister and that was half the truth, but the reality is that its also the consummate writer in me. You want to write a bad story? You want to make your reader wonder what the point of it all was? Have the hero Die. Not a good death, not a noble sacrifice, not even a tortured and broken and beaten death. No have him fight through hordes of enemies, face every trial with whatever wits and strength of character he can muster. Then when he is on the gates of hell, staring down that final confrontation, the battle between good and evil resting on his shoulders. Have him draw his sword, stare dimly at the fortress he is to assault and draw that blade across his own throat and fall into the mote to be eaten. Your readers will hate you, because the build up, everything he had been through was all for naught. That’s the other half of what holds me here. Most people around me don’t need me, would mourn me perhaps, but only briefly I suspect. They are stronger then I am. But the writer in me, looks at my story up to this point, sees all that’s been written, the beginning and the middle, but knows that the ending will be the true masterpiece, and I need that, I need it to at least be a good story. I’d rather it be great, but I’m not a hero, this world’s magic has faded long ago, and the few things I am good at, aren’t enough to help more then a handful of people.

So here’s to the writer in me I guess. Sick Sadistic Son of a bitch that he is, he is whats going to keep me going, because his damn story can’t be a bad one.

– Andrew Buschert

Don’t leave your readers hanging. Keep fighting and don’t give in.

Remember.  Depression lies.

Xxoo
Robyn

Public Service Announcement

I am not very active lately, mostly because of life.

But I would like to say:

If you are a friend (real life or online only) – and you start to go creepy on me – or start making me feel uncomfortable IN ANY WAY … I have no issues blocking your ass.

Yes. That means YOU.

I dont care if I’ve known you for five minutes, or five years.

I’m not talking of that uncomfortable feeling that I get when I read something, or watch something “off”. Nor am I talking about the uncomfortable feeling of having disappointed someone special to me. I have no problem being physically uncomfortable if the situation is right/called for…

I am talking about that feeling when a “friend” starts making sexual comments. When you’ve made it clear to someone how you feel about them, yet they continue to try and convince you that, no, in fact you feel this way. The way it makes your skin crawl when someone initiates or holds that hug a little too long.

I’m not dumb. I KNOW that you find yourself so clever, with your underhanded comments. That you feel like if you just re-word something – it will change everything. That if you just-keep-trying … eventually you’ll get somewhere.

You’re right. You will get somewhere. Blocked. Without ANY sort of relationship with me, friend or otherwise, and all future possible opportunities that might have occured.

Because if the thought of you potentially seeing my friends-only pictures (or reading a more personal post), makes my stomach drop, and I consider taking them down rather then chancing you seeing them? Something is seriously wrong.

Yes. This IS all about me.

I need to feel safe and comfortable in my surroundings, and with those I choose to surround myself with. a hard lesson to learn – but one I am embracing without looking back.

This slice of the world? This corner of the sandbox? … IS MINE . Play by my rules or GTFO.

Please return to your regularly scheduled surfing