I’m different now. Yet better.

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person (Updated)

Last year, when I read this… I had the eyeroll approach to viewing it. I felt that my mental illnesses made it so that I couldn’t *be* a closer – no matter what I tried.

This year, I read the article a second time and I’m inspired.

I am totally seeing the difference. Last year I was a good person. This year I am a good person who actively helps out others.

Last year I was going to lose weight. This year I *did* lose weight because I became active and tried.

Before I was suffering through my shit. This year I learned that I can overcome my shit and use it to motovate myself and others

So yeah. I’m a different version of me then I was this time last year.

And that? Feels fucking amazing.


Tuesday Life Review

So – As any of you that actually read this daily might have noticed, I didn’t blog yesterday. 

There are reasons (doing farm stuff, sleeping, huge leg pain, depression)… but really, do you want to know?


Anyways – I suffer from SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically what it means is that when the weather changes, so do my mood patterns. Being as it is winter time.. that means my moods are mostly dreary, depressed, sleepy and grouchy. The short days, darkness, and cold make me not a very good person to be around. Which totally blows, because I? Am fucking awesome. It’s just really hard to tell sometimes. 

There are things you can do to help with SAD. Exercise. Eating right. Getting outside when it is nice out. Sun lamps. 

The last one would be really nice to have (though they can range in price. I was told today that there is one you can get off Amazon for $30.00 – but the ones locally are about $175-200, or about $30.00 a month to rent). 

Basically it is a lamp that simulates natural sunlight. Hence the name. 

From what I understand – you are supposed to sit in front of the lamp for about 30 minutes in the mornings. Mornings because of sleep cycle (I think) and 30 min because that is enough time to get benefits from it. It only works if you are in front of it though. With it shining on you. 

I’ve been thinking for years of getting one.. but… I haven’t. Maybe I will figure out a way to order the one from Amazon. (I don’t have a credit card)

I could certainly use the help.

In other news, that is somewhat related, it snowed last night/this morning. Not a lot, and most of it is melted/melting… but it was still hard to see. Usually I love the first snow fall of the year. Unfortunately all it means for me this year – is more leg pain (cold/damp), and wet feet. 

Snow also means wearing more layers, which oddly enough makes me feel really self conscious and fat. But it’s better to feel ugly then to get hypothermia, right? Right!?!? Gah, who am I kidding. Hypothermia isn’t that bad.  I mean.. you fall asleep before you die, at least it’s restful. 

I am also freaking out about my trip. I leave in a week. A FREAKING WEEK. I have so much to do still!!!!

Piano lessons x 2.
Clean house because SAD makes me a slob (or more likely to not have the motivation to keep up on cleaning.)
Get the mats out of my dogs fur so he doesn’t clump up with snow, because yes – that does happen. It’s no fun having to peel clumps of snow off your dog so he doesn’t spend the entire winter wet and miserable.
Go to the library – find out what book they are holding. Hope it is the one I want. 
After Piano tomorrow, I need to drop a crap load of stuff off at the thrift store. Because I just don’t have room for it here. 
Somewhere in there I have to make sure I eat, shower, drink water, etc

I also have not yet bought my greyhound tickets. Which I need to do. But instead of doing that already – I bought groceries instead. Sigh. Priorities suck when you are an adult.  So I will need to buy those as soon as I get my spending money. One for Hamilton- Ottawa, and one return from Ottawa to Montreal. 

PLUS! I have to do this weeks blogging, as well as should do some of next weeks.. Hell… the next three weeks. I mean.. the Tuesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays I should be able to do no problem while in Ontario. Mondays are going to be a little difficult as I wont have access to a system. I wasn’t planning on bringing my Xbox with me across the country, anyway. I could always review a gameboy game? Hmmm. I don’t know if I have time to do all that I need to do, as well as review three weeks worth of old and new games. Because: 1 – I am a perfectionist. I must review all games after playing them. Not from memory. 2 – I am super busy, and usually set a whole night aside for a game review. 3 – I don’t really feel like staying up until buttfuckoclock to try and get everything done. 

I also haven’t been having much luck with interviewness. Mostly because I find it hard to go outside my comfort zone and search out new people to interview. I may end up tweeking that schedule a bit. Say… Interviews once a month. Either spread out over a few Thursday “episodes”, or have Thursdays be a catch up day otherwise. I mean – I’m not currently making money pimpin these guys out… so I should be able to make my own hours right?? 

So much to do. So little freaking time. Je suis tres fatigue.  Just thinking about it makes me want to go back to bed *shudder*.

Anyways.. that is the update on my life. I guess anyways. 😛


Hopefully I will be all rainbows and unicorns by tomorrow! 



PS. I dreamt about Wil Wheaton last night. 

P.P.S Not that kind of dream. I dreamt we were on TableTop

P.S. of the P.P.S  The show. Not the piece of furniture. Though.. the furniture piece was there.  We were playing Lords of Underwood. I think. Something like that. I cannot remember what the game in my dream was called. I won though. And Wil said “Balls” a lot, and got frustrated because he was the loser.  He also agreed to be interviewed by me for my blog – which he said wasn’t really a blog, but a cute attempt. (Thanks Wil. Asshole. )

And – The Bloggess brought me back a koala and a kookaburra from Australia. Because obviously I am way more important to her then her family. 

Thursday Interview: George K (Insert greek randomness here)

It’s Thursday everyone!

I have my first interview! While not very long.. it is my first one, and very last minute 🙂

I have some feelers out to interview some other people – but I have not gotten responses from some of them ( though I do have some others! Going to get that shit organized!)

I messaged @PaoloPace – who worked on Splinter Cell: Blacklist. Go ahead an tweet at him to let me interview him! Annnd…

ImageI was able to interview my roommate and fellow gamer: George. He wasn’t able to stick around (as he works like a mad-man), but I was able to send him a batch of questions through text – that he took the time out of his day to answer. He is so sweet!

The (short) batch of questions I thought up on the fly to ask him:

Robyn: At what age did you start playing video games?

George: Started playing at age 4

R: Do you own many consoles? If so – which ones?


R: Ohh? What is Coleco Vision?

G: It’s a console that came out about the same time frame as the Atari 2600

R: Awesome!

R: If you had to choose a specific genre to play – which would it be?

G: Favorite genre is RPG’s

R: Think back to ancient times – What was your favorite game?

G: Favorite game: Final Fantasy 7

R: Do you use video games as a way to relieve stress?

G: Yes. *insert look of disbelief that I would ask this question this morning)

R: What about them helps?

G: Video games are a stress relief because I can escape from the idiots that populate this world. All the lies and attempts and manipulation is tiring. I’m just going to forget these people exist and slay a dragon.

R: In your opinion – what is the biggest myth in mainstream media today, regarding video games (and their use)?

G: Myth – violence in video games leads to violence in the world. More like shitty parenting leads to violence in the world.

R: Gamer girls – Hot or Not?

G: Gamer girls being hot is a generalization, hot girls are hot. What makes them hot is in the eyes of the beholder.

R: Last – but definitely the most important…. How awesome do you think I am? (Seriously – it’s a question for the blog)

G: Pretty damn awesome. Now go play some games.

So that was the first – SHORT, and basic interview. Please comment and let me know what other questions I should ask in the future! Also – make sure you sign up to get my new posts! I have an epic list of topics coming up – you wont want to miss out!

Thursday : Interviews (but actually just babble today)

Today is interview day! (Or would be if I had my act together)

Thursday’s are the day where I plan on interviewing other people who have mental illness and play video games. Also: devs, indie designers, etc…

Unfortunately. … today I had no one to interview!  (I was helping build a fence… oops!)

Being as today was kind of stressful for me… (don’t worry – I’ll rant a tiny bit) I am going to change today’s interview post, with Saturday’s? Or maybe I’ll just do double the post tomorrow 🙂


Information that is not related in any way whatsoever with Thursday: Interviews – but that is bugging me so I am going to have to write about it. 

I moved across the country, from the barren plains, back home to the coast. That was the beginning of April. I was sooooo excited to be home! So much so that I decided to go horseback riding! Bareback! With a horse I didn’t know that well, and a person I knew even less!

I’m thinking you can all figure out what happened…. Yup! I fell! But I fell before even getting on the horse. I fell trying to get on the horse. I jumped, the horse side stepped – there was zigging when there should have been zagging… and I landed with both feet flat on the ground.

I have such awesome luck that my leg snapped. Thirteen days after I moved back home I was being rushed to the hospital in an Ambulance. I did a huge number on my leg: broke the Tibia, fractured the Fibula, dislocated the ankle…  It was not a good time. I had surgery where they put a plate in, a bunch of screws, and told me I wasn’t allowed to put any weight on it for a minimum of 3 weeks. Three weeks of HELL.

The Break
The Break
Plates and screws after surgery
Plates and screws after surgery

I ended up being in the hospital, and then physical rehab for three and a half months. Three and a half months of no access to gaming! The horror! (I was about to break out of the joint and hit up an arcade or something. )

Anyways – Come to today – After much back and forth with tests, X-rays, surgeon consults… it has been decided that there is something wrong with my leg. There is the possibility of damaged cartilage within my ankle joint (causing pain and swelling), as well as a potential bone cyst or infection around one of the screws. The radiologist said that on the CT scan , they saw a 10mm hole around one of the screws. That is an entire centimetre. HUGE.

The surgeon is going to go back in, do a scope of the joint, remove the plate and screws, inspect the “hole” , clean it up, decided if I need a bone graft from the other side of my leg, and decide if she is going to put another plate back in. Should be a REAL blast.

So not only have I been healing this broken leg since April – but it isn’t healing right. So now I get to have ANOTHER surgery, spend another 1-3 months recovering, and probably will still have a 75% chance of a limp, arthritis, and possible swelling. Totally what I wanted to hear.

The surgery will be sometime in the beginning of December. Either the first or second week. Which means I will be bedridden for Christmas. One of my favourite holidays. 😦

Hopefully? The surgeon will get in there, find out the CT scan lied, decide just to take the metal out… and I will be as good as new within six weeks. That is what I am rooting for, though my luck tends to run the other way. *sigh*

So that was my stressful morning… how was yours?

I will try and get an interview post up tomorrow, along with my Friday blog.

Thanks for reading my babble.